I'm not sure what to say, I'm disappointed in myself. I know you don't care, you don't know me, but I am. I know people care about me and love me. Nobody understands that pain, and don't say you do. I know you don't, that's how we are special, we are different. I keep seeing things, I keep hearing things. I know it isn't considered "normal", but you're trapped in your own mind. How should I not find it normal? A side of my brain tells me its real and the other is being realistic. I keep talking to myself all the time, I have plenty of people to talk to, I have a lot of friends, I get along with people. Its annoying. I get so annoyed by it, I'm always being watched. I don't know by what, but I am. Its a group of people, I know that. Just any group, a friend group, a group of random people, any group. They judge me when Im really sad or very angry. Im irritated. All I can do is focus on my art and deal with it, because I don't bother getting the help I should get, I'm comfortable like this in a way, I can't imagine myself without this. It sounds stupid, I know, but you gotta understand how it is. I hate how people say its easy, I hate how people say its too hard, I hate when people say others go through worse, I hate how others judge me, I hate how nobody cares, I hate how people care. I hate it all but its apart of life and I should deal with it. I know I sound like a total retard, I dont and do care. All I can do is help others because I can't help myself. I try my best to understand, though I never will, because you'll never understand that stuff, you arent them. And give actual, genuine advice. There's more than those things up with me, but its private. I want to talk but its private and others dont need to know. I write that after ive wrote this all. Im just tired, and my body hurts all the time, literally. I should just go back to bed and take a break.